Tuesday, September 30, 2003

If you were a road, I'd learn every turn till I could find my way with my eyes closed.
If you were a song, I'd sing along till I knew every word and every note.
You are everything to me, a mystery
You're the love I live to see.

By heart, by soul,
That's how I want to know you
Keep you as close as breath is to life
Wanna watch your love unfold,
By heart, by soul.

If you were a place, I'd stay my whole life so I had every corner memorized
If you were a star, I'd follow you home
You would be the light that is my only guide
You are everything to me, my A to Z
nd will be forever and eternity

That song by Avalon has rather cliched lyrics. I didn't really realize till I typed them out a minute ago. Still, it holds some meaning for me, since it's a Christian number, though some might still translate it to be a secular love song. I guess it appeals to both genres.

Feeling a lack of faith lately. I guess I really need to see real life miracles to be able to feel. Or else the cynicism just piles up, and when it's as high as a diabetic on glucose overload, there's little the doctors can do. Not even a highly concentrated insulin shot. Typical. Cynical.

Gv complained @ 6:26 PM

{xoxo}

Monday, September 29, 2003

Reflections of your love have come to wither, I thought I'd done my best to memorize...

I'm actually watching Mariah Carey's Glitter. It's sorta playing in the background. Not that significant a movie, but nevertheless I wouldn't think it to be so bad a movie that it only deserves 2 outta 10 stars. (courtesy of IMDB.com) Anyway, I'm in a Mariah mode these days, listening to her songs, watching live performances, blah blah...

I am feeling so bored these days. But ironically I just don't really feel like spending money. Moreover there aren't many great movies in the upcoming month. Most prob I'll just watch Underworld, I think. Just love the gothic theme of vampires and werewolves. Woo.

Gv complained @ 8:29 PM

{xoxo}

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Stagnation

Okay, it's officially the weekend. And as usual I have nothing substantial to do. Needless to say, I'm perched in front of my laptop typing this entry with sweaty hands and with no clear mind what exactly to type. Am I experiencing writer's block? Damn.

Had quite a "blast" (negativity) the last couple of weeks while I was doing standby. There was the stupid, waste-of-time Exercise Concorde where prior to that, we were activated twice and got faulted for the most ridiculous, superficial, redundant and insignificant errors. I've supposedly got 2 extra duties because of my oversight. More reasons to hate the army.

More recently, some asshole from another company lost the bolt carrier in his rifle. Which naturally left the whole bloody battalion into a frenzy. There was even a stupid rule that no one from the battalion was allowed to book out until the matter had been resolved. Of course I felt it was unjust and that the person losing the bolt carrier should take matters into his own responsibility and not pull the whole battalion down with him. Especially when it comes to sensitive issues like booking out and burnt weekends. Thankfully, the authorities finally came to their strictly limited senses and relaxed the rule. But then again, because of that incident, there have been (again) more stringent rules being applied to the drawing and sending of arms, which naturally means more time wasted. Moreover, it does not guarantee that rifle parts won't be missing in the future. Such is the inadequacy, inefficiency and brainlessness of the SAF. I will not launch into a personal tirade of vulgarities at my lame-ass (correction: fat-ass) CSM here. Oh well, did I just contradict myself? I'm feeling so paradoxical these days. Hah.

Going to Nee Soon camp this coming week to build again a ridiculous redundant bridge. Heard it's some heavyweight. Urgh. Manual labour. Makes me rethink whether cancelling my insurance policy was a sound idea. Furthermore, the building of the stupid bridge is some trial project launced by the heavyweight assholes of SAF. Shows that my parents are paying their luxurious salaries for nothing, them formulating such dangerous projects. They really should be retrenched. I mean who would bother doing such crappy manual work when machines are the age now? Although they did mention about using machinery like cranes and forklifts, I doubt they'll be of much use. We'll definitely end up using our hands to carry stuff than pressing the control buttons on the machines. I just know the SAF too well.

Gv complained @ 10:26 AM

{xoxo}

Sunday, September 07, 2003

The horror

Oh the horror, the horror. Horrible week I had. Actually it was not really that bad, but being such a cynic, urgh. Don't really feel like elaborating now. But I can definitely say that this upcoming week is gonna be worse. Why? Standby duty. Weekend lost. Double urgh. Moreover there's some shitty possibility that there'll be Exercise Concorde. Triple, quadruple urgh. I'm not gonna think about it now.

Gv complained @ 5:07 PM

{xoxo}

Monday, September 01, 2003

My method of suicide: Asphyxiation.

YOU WOULD ASPHYXIATE YOURSELF. You're smart enough to realize that death isn't something to be toyed with, but you still have the occasional suicidal impluse or desire. You are extremely cautious where it comes to self-mutilation, self-abuse, and substance abuse. if you were going to commit suicide, you'd want it to be as painless as possible.


How would you commit suicide?


Oh yuck. Never thought of suicide before. Oh well, maybe I'll really try asphyxiation one day.

Tried changing my blog skin last night, but lack of patience overwhelmed me. Some other time perhaps, when I'm more at peace with myself and with loads of time to spare. Watched Sleepy Hollow on tv last night. I so loved the gothic setting.

Going back to camp tonight. Wonder what's in store for this week. Never gonna look forward to it. Unless, there's some off at the end of it. But by the likes of it, I guess not.

Gv complained @ 9:15 AM

{xoxo}