Friday, December 09, 2005

I have come to realise that even though I hanker after the glamourous lifestyle, that of endless parties, and looking perpetually fabulous, time with the family and close friends, though simple and uninhibiting, can sometimes be the best time that one can have. In most cases, it is due to the 'pride' factor in me that I never really let my personality shine through. Sometimes I'm tired of living a lie.

My family was at the hub today finalising plans on a new unit that my dad's purchasing. Though it won't be ready (the place's still under construction) till after I graduate, I am somewhat looking forward to moving to the new place. Sure, I may lose the famililarity that my current place offers me, the knowledge that I know where everything is despite it being a continuous mess, but a change of environment sure is good. Besides, the person said the new place looks like a mini-Pinnacle. That sure is something to look forward to, even though my dad was criticising the architect(s) on some of the inadequate (though stylish) designs of the place.

Anyway, after visiting the hub, we went for breakfast as a family at McD's. I'm glad that my parents gave in to my brother and I, as both of them are never fast-food junkies. But nevertheless, I treasured the time we had over the breakfast table, just talking about things that we usually never had time to talk about. In fact I realised that I usually speak less than a couple of sentences a day to my dad, and sometimes it is just pleasantries. Even though breakfast today didn't mark a miraculous improvement, I could see that the attempts made by my dad to indulge me in conversation were noteworthy. I guess I should make the effort too.

On another note altogether, sometimes I wonder if I really want to spend my life in Singapore. Sean and I were just casually talking for almost two hours the other day, when the conversation suddenly shifted to be about moving to another country like Oz or U.S. after we graduate. That is when we've earned enough to survive on our own. While walking around the area at Dhoby Ghaut, I asked, "But it's not as if we won't see scenes like this, of people sitting on the steps, talking, drinking coffee, just milling about when we move to a new place, right?"

Yes, we won't see much difference (if I may fathom a guess), but I guess it's the familarity of being born and bred here for so long, that we are desperately dying for a change. After all, we always think that the grass is greener on the other side, and sometimes that may have some essence of truth. Like I've said before, I never really adapt well to change, and considering the many consequences that we may induce should we move abroad, it is really a dilemma.

Nonetheless, I'm glad to have such a friend who share the same thoughts as me. At times when I face others who are on a totally different frequency, who seem to think that Singapore, being safe and having a low-crime rate, is the best place to live, I would ask myself if I am asking for too much. Indeed, I may be, but sometimes I would want to feel that I'm not. After all, pride is my greatest vice, if I think so myself.

Gv complained @ 8:34 PM

{xoxo}